Is Having it All Even Worth It?

Growing up many of us heard from our mothers and grandmothers how the world was a much better place to be for a woman that it was even decades before. Our mothers were some of the first to be able to HAVE IT ALL - with their families and dream jobs. Our generation is still being promised that we can have everything we want. We may have to learn to balance, patience and how to live with exhaustion - but hey, we can have it all.

Some of us have been so indoctrinated with this ideal that we have taken things a step further and expected to have it all by age 30. Doing the math -- we plan to meet Mr. Right sometime during high school or college then get engaged at 22 or 23, married within a few years so we can both work, getting started on our careers for two to four years then start having kids by 28 or 29. Sounds perfect right? Have the female version of the American dream all before the age of 30.

Of course, no one tells you that if you get it all before 30, you'll be exhausted by 32.

The backlash of the movement to have it all has created a battle between women who are still striving and women who are searching for an alternative. The alternative hasn't been decided for many women but those who are looking are often trying to have it all, just not all at the same time. So we begin with career then think about leaving it to start families hoping we can return to work once our kids are either in school or grown and ready to leave the house.

What I always wanted to know is what happens if you can't meet the timeline? Do you settle for Mr. Almost Right if you approach 24 without meeting "THE ONE"? Or do you rush the work and family so we meet the invisible deadline? Do we reach some point and then God, karma (or whatever higher power you believe in) decides that you didn't meet the deadline therefore you cannot have it all? You just were too late so you don't get to have your dreams? Or anyone else's?

How do you even know that ALL is what you want? There's never a time in school when they pull you aside and say - do you want to be married, have kids and work a full time career all while not having a spare second to think. No one prepares you for the exhaustion, tension and shear feelings of inadequacy that accompany trying to do everything all the time.

So I circle back to my question above. Is having it all even worth it?