Get off the guilt train

Family guilt is one of my least favorite aspects of life. Personally, I hate the winter holidays for this reason. Since I was ten years old I have had to deal with the stress of split holidays with divorced parents. While I was lucky enough to grow up in close proximity to all of my grandparents, this actually added to stress around holiday time.

A lot of kids drool at the thought of celebrating Christmas three or four times each year. That is, until it happens to them. Splitting time, soothing hurt feelings and dealing with the competition and one-upmanship of family all trying to get the best gift, does not make for a relaxing or enjoyable time.

Once I reached adulthood I began to find ways to avoid going home fort he holidays. Now that I live 1200 miles from home, it’s a little easier. You see my family would never head my direction for the holiday. I don’t really have the space and I live where it’s cold (they live in Florida). Plus being in my 30s, I have a job that doesn’t always make it easy to travel during the holidays. Almost everyone wants that time of year off for vacation. I usually don’t mind being the one to stay behind in the office. In fact I often get tons done while everything is quiet.

The only difficulty I have not going home for the holidays is the guilt. I don’t really feel the guilt on my own. It tends to be pushed on me from outside – siblings, parents, grandparents, etc.
This year I am staying home in my apartment with a stack of books and a frozen pizza. I’ve decided to make all the phone calls on Christmas Eve then put the phone away for the holiday. My goal is to enjoy the day guilt-free.