Excerpt: Chapter 3: Redefining Success

Redefining Success

One of the central aims of this project was to define what it means
to be a successful woman turning thirty in the United States. I was
lucky that in the year I spent working on this project I met exceptional
women who defined success on their own terms and for their own
lives. I believe that success is not about money or prestige; it is not
about a person’s status in life.

Instead success is an internal experience. Success at thirty for me
means being comfortable with myself and the choices I have made.
Each woman has her own definition of success. The women featured
in these pages define their own success instead of worrying about conforming
to society’s, their mothers’, or even their best friends’ ideas of
success. Being successful when turning thirty is not about reaching an
end and having fulfilled all your goals; there is more life yet to be lived.
Instead, being successful at thirty is about life in progress and working
toward that “favorable outcome.” The women in this book - real,
average women, not superstars, show that success is what you make
of your own life, not what anyone else or society at large thinks you
should be. Generally happiness and security were the central themes
in the definitions provided by the project participants. Perhaps Symphony
said it best when she said she is a success “because I have found
a happy place to live and happy way to live and have overcome many
obstacles.” The traditionalists agree that they are successful because
they are happy with traditional roles. Chelsea said, “I have married a
good man and I have great kids that are the center of my world. We
have a safe place to live and don’t want for much.” Amanda echoed
the sentiment when she said, “I feel I am [successful] because I have
a great family, a great husband, a wonderful daughter. We both have
good jobs, we’re comfortable.” After reading Levinson I was pleased
to meet women who loved their traditional lifestyle and made their
lives successful.