(Normal) Read Rational, Adult Relationships

Last weekend I talked to one of my friends about relationships. This friend is 28 and seems to be working hard to get her life in order. She is a mom with a 4 year old, was divorced last year after 4 years of marriage. She has a great job as a magazine editor that suits her personality perfectly. She has a great boyfriend and they share a normal, adult (read non-drama-filled) relationship.

From the outside it looks like my friend has the perfect life. She doesn’t. What she has is a normal life and for the first time, she is thriving in the normal.

When we talked about relationships I came to the realization that quite possibly one of the greatest things about turning 30 is the ability or expectation of having “normal” or rational relationships.

Once we reach our 30s many of us have had our fill of drama and game playing when it comes to men. This isn’t always the case but if you are the type who is tired of the drama, the great news is that many men are in the same place. For once you are more likely to agree with the men you date about boundaries, rules and how to have your own life. Jealousy begins to be a hazard instead of an appealing aspect of your relationship.

What my friend shared with me is that she and the guy in her life have separate lives. They have their own friends, jobs and responsibility. When they get together they are together. The thing that stands out is how they deal with the other people in each other’s lives. For example, they each have friends of the opposite sex who they’ve known forever and these friends will hug and kiss them if they happen to run into each other.

In our 20s the thought of your boyfriend hugging or kissing another girl is enough to send most women into a jealous rage that causes a fight and possibly even a breakup of epic proportions. As we get older, jealousy (hopefully) is not our first emotion and we think before we lose it. Instead my friend and her guy respect the friendships and get to know the other’s friends without all the drama.

The funny thing is that my friend kept telling me how odd it is to be in a relationship that is so adult, so normal. I just responded that she just found one of the greatest benefits of getting older and wiser – adult relationships.