Some things will never change

I came across a blog entry today on Yahoo’s Shine that sparked my interest and irritation. The blog was titles “Ladies Who Lunch” and was from an entry on www.Damselsinsuccess.com dated March of this year. The author wrote a minor rant about finding herself in a restaurant while waiting for lunch and eavesdropping on a conversation at a nearby table. As a fan of eavesdropping on strangers myself, I appreciate her insistence to listen to the two women even though she would have preferred to check her email or focus on anything but what the women were talking about.

You see, these two women (strangers to the blogger) were older, described as 50ish and speaking about the other ladies they lunch with. Their conversation apparently focused on the women in their group (not present for the conversation) who did not have children. The gist of the conversation appeared to be that women without children and later grandchildren were both selfish and uninteresting because they had no life. Now the common idea that a childless woman is selfish because she must be out partying or is only concerned with her own needs is a common one.

The blog author ranted a bit (in statements and tone I agree with) that women do not have to wrap their entire identity in reproduction. If we have children we can continue to be individuals apart from the people we birthed (apparently the lunching ladies disagree). The blogger also commented that in the same time these ladies expected childless women to be selfish partiers, they also expected the women had nothing to talk about because they couldn’t talk about children.

So you wonder why I’m writing about women in their fifties who were criticized by someone who was rude enough to eavesdrop on their conversation. The thing is that this blog reminded me that women are generally a pain in the neck. For whatever reason our gender tends to be judgmental when talking about the other members of our species. The other thing that struck me is that women do not change as they get older.

If as you approach turning 30 you are feeling pressure to have children or to defend your choice not to have kids, you might as well become secure in your argument. It looks like you might be defending yourself for decades to come. If we are doomed to spend the rest of ours lives subjected to the criticisms of other women, shouldn't we just start ignoring them now (instead of later).