No One Thinks I’m the Secretary Anymore

At a meeting this week a thought occurred to me. I am usually the one of the youngest females at most of my work meetings. I work in a field that is mostly male dominated so sometimes I am the only female in the room. I’m not complaining about that. I don’t particularly think gender matters much in the workplace.

Since I have entered my 30s I have noticed one interesting thing in business meetings. When I first started in the corporate world I was 21. I probably looked like I was 15 or 16 since I was pretty tiny. During most of the first few years, every time I was involved in a meeting I was either asked to get coffee, stay to clean up or to take notes/minutes. I figured out early on that several vendors just assumed as the only woman I was a secretary whose only purpose in the meeting was to serve and take notes.

Those first few years it was frustrating when members of the old guard wouldn’t even let me respond or ask questions because they thought I wasn’t really part of the meeting. I was just the secretary.

Understand, I have been a secretary (or at the time I guess the term assistant was being used). No matter the term, I have been the person on staff with the responsibility for scheduling meetings, ordering refreshments, cleaning up, typing letters, filing and keeping the boss’ desk and schedule clear. I’m not at all putting down the job or those who do it. It was a lot more work than what I was doing in my early 20s when I started working in insurance.

I became frustrated, however, when I was a manager and would attend meetings where my subordinates were deferred to because they were male and older. I know that plenty of women at this point would tell me it was my responsibility to speak up and take charge. You would be preaching to the choir. I agree and that’s exactly what I did. I learned a lot about speaking up for myself and being the boss in those meetings.

With my 30s I have found less and less need to assert my authority in meetings. Instead it is expected that I make an argument or present my opinion when attending meetings. In my 30s I have become a member of the team. I’m an asset that doesn’t reflect my age so much as my ability. Still it makes me smile to know that no one expects me to be the secretary anymore, even when I bring the coffee.