Looking at the economy this might not be the best time to have this conversation but I think we need to think about what we can do to stay positive right now, whether it is positive about our age, our income or whatever may be bringing us down. To that end I’d like to suggest a little retail therapy.
Usually I am not a big fan of the shop ‘til your hurts go away mentality since that tends to lead to debt which increases fear and you end up with one big, ugly cycle of discomfort and craziness. However, retail therapy is good for the economy and I’m not suggesting that you go overboard. As a matter of fact I’m ordering you not to use credit for this little reward.
A few weeks ago after a stressful week and craving a special gift for myself I went out and bought this Coach purse. I didn’t go overboard and buy the large Hobo style bag or the newest item. I went to the outlet store and purchased a bag (WITH CASH) that I fell in love with a few weeks earlier. The bag was on sale.
Sale doesn’t always mean that the purchase is a good one and I usually recommend in times of financial stress that you spend as little as possible. BUT I was in need of a reward, something to make the sacrifices (and months of working 2 jobs) worthwhile so that I would be motivated to continue. I also, that same day, arranged a new lease for next year that would save me more than $200 a month in rent from this past year, and worked out to be $400 less than the increase my present complex was demanding. So in all, spending $70 that I DID HAVE IN CASH seemed worth the effort and energy I had expended.
Why am I telling you about my purse? Because I am a responsible gal, I work hard and try not to be frivolous. So when I tell you that sometimes you need to reward yourself, I mean it.
I’m not suggesting you spend what you don’t have or spend a lot. Right now many of us are making sacrifices, working more, spending less, whatever it takes to get by. If you are one of these women then consider rewarding yourself a little. Once a month or every other month (whatever your budget can spare) take yourself to breakfast and spend $5 at the bakery, or if you recently cut out your daily Starbucks habit, then treat yourself to your favorite coffee on a Saturday morning. Buy a book or purchase a favorite album on iTunes. If there is absolutely no available cash, the reward yourself with a walk in the park alone or with a friend or even a bubble bath on a Sunday evening.
Just do something that reminds you that your hard work is worth it and there will be better times ahead.
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Managing Stress and Investing
Stress is big in our culture. It defines and often consumes us. Looking at the news today and finding that the Dow dropped 800 points and the economy is continuing to crash around us, how can we not be stressed.
At lunch today two different people commented about how they would not be able to retire within three years as they had originally planned. They took a large enough financial hit that they won't be able to recover in time to meet their retirement goal.
THIS SUCKS! Royally, for them!
I do have empathy, please don't misunderstand. But at the same time I am grateful that even though I have taken some hits with my investments, I will have time to recover. I started my 401k at 22 and have a fair amount of money saved even though I took most of it out when I changed jobs 3 years ago. Still I know that while the losses suck, I can get it back. When the economy recovers, I can survive this downturn and be able to recover again.
So turning 30 may be the first time you started thinking about the economy or your financial future. If not, great for you. If you've gotten a head start then you are even better positioned than many of your peers. If you haven't started preparing for the future, I hope that when this crisis passes, you will do so.
Still if you're having a rough day and need something positive to consider about turning 30 - remember that you have time. You have lots of time to invest in your future and recover losses. Our age, our youth, provides this time. Make good use of it!!
At lunch today two different people commented about how they would not be able to retire within three years as they had originally planned. They took a large enough financial hit that they won't be able to recover in time to meet their retirement goal.
THIS SUCKS! Royally, for them!
I do have empathy, please don't misunderstand. But at the same time I am grateful that even though I have taken some hits with my investments, I will have time to recover. I started my 401k at 22 and have a fair amount of money saved even though I took most of it out when I changed jobs 3 years ago. Still I know that while the losses suck, I can get it back. When the economy recovers, I can survive this downturn and be able to recover again.
So turning 30 may be the first time you started thinking about the economy or your financial future. If not, great for you. If you've gotten a head start then you are even better positioned than many of your peers. If you haven't started preparing for the future, I hope that when this crisis passes, you will do so.
Still if you're having a rough day and need something positive to consider about turning 30 - remember that you have time. You have lots of time to invest in your future and recover losses. Our age, our youth, provides this time. Make good use of it!!
Monday, October 6, 2008
Computer Crappy Day
I have had the crappiest day. I now have a headache and a knot in my stomach and I can't tell you why. Monday tends to be a bad day with the whole recover from the weekend and get up early deal. But today was a spectacularly bad Monday because every plan I had failed, every goal was unmet and I spent my day consumed with other people's problems while I ignored my own schedule and deadlines.
Just so we are clear - I am totally aware that this is my own fault.
The problem is that I don't mind helping people and I usually am laid back enough that missing a deadline doesn't really bother me. I normally figure that I will just make up the time tomorrow. BUT TODAY, my problems were all computer related and
They are completely illogical and unreliable. I am one of those individuals who isn't good with machines. I'm handy with tools as long as they don't perform high level functions. So I can use a drill and my iPod (sometimes) but computers, copy machines and complex tools like drill presses, circular saws and others are a little too high risk for me.
Computers especially tend to react badly to my instructions. While I just want to throw the stupid things out the window half the time.
So today I spent more than 4 hours trying to load (then unload and reload) a software upgrade. I should tell you that I have loaded this particular upgrade four times in the last week. So I've got the process down and shouldn't have had a problem. Still the irrational nature of computers meant that I tried to upload the program and it didn't take, then I tried again, no joy. I am, however, persistent so I tried a third time and YIPPEE! it worked and the program was loaded. It even worked, the first time.
I got the machine working just in time for the next one to be dropped on my desk for the same problem. The upgrade loaded but wouldn't function so it had to be uninstalled and then reinstalled.
Like I said, computers make me crazy. They are just counter to my logic. The stress of having to deal with the inconsistency and irrational nature of 2 stupid machines made me just want to SCREAM!
Right now I have absolutely nothing positive to say EXCEPT I'm looking forward to tomorrow. It will be a better day!
Just so we are clear - I am totally aware that this is my own fault.
The problem is that I don't mind helping people and I usually am laid back enough that missing a deadline doesn't really bother me. I normally figure that I will just make up the time tomorrow. BUT TODAY, my problems were all computer related and
COMPUTERS MAKE ME CRAZY
ABSOLUTELY INSANE
They are completely illogical and unreliable. I am one of those individuals who isn't good with machines. I'm handy with tools as long as they don't perform high level functions. So I can use a drill and my iPod (sometimes) but computers, copy machines and complex tools like drill presses, circular saws and others are a little too high risk for me.
Computers especially tend to react badly to my instructions. While I just want to throw the stupid things out the window half the time.
So today I spent more than 4 hours trying to load (then unload and reload) a software upgrade. I should tell you that I have loaded this particular upgrade four times in the last week. So I've got the process down and shouldn't have had a problem. Still the irrational nature of computers meant that I tried to upload the program and it didn't take, then I tried again, no joy. I am, however, persistent so I tried a third time and YIPPEE! it worked and the program was loaded. It even worked, the first time.
I got the machine working just in time for the next one to be dropped on my desk for the same problem. The upgrade loaded but wouldn't function so it had to be uninstalled and then reinstalled.
Like I said, computers make me crazy. They are just counter to my logic. The stress of having to deal with the inconsistency and irrational nature of 2 stupid machines made me just want to SCREAM!
Right now I have absolutely nothing positive to say EXCEPT I'm looking forward to tomorrow. It will be a better day!
Thursday, October 2, 2008
Is Having it All Even Worth It?
Growing up many of us heard from our mothers and grandmothers how the world was a much better place to be for a woman that it was even decades before. Our mothers were some of the first to be able to HAVE IT ALL - with their families and dream jobs. Our generation is still being promised that we can have everything we want. We may have to learn to balance, patience and how to live with exhaustion - but hey, we can have it all.
Some of us have been so indoctrinated with this ideal that we have taken things a step further and expected to have it all by age 30. Doing the math -- we plan to meet Mr. Right sometime during high school or college then get engaged at 22 or 23, married within a few years so we can both work, getting started on our careers for two to four years then start having kids by 28 or 29. Sounds perfect right? Have the female version of the American dream all before the age of 30.
Of course, no one tells you that if you get it all before 30, you'll be exhausted by 32.
The backlash of the movement to have it all has created a battle between women who are still striving and women who are searching for an alternative. The alternative hasn't been decided for many women but those who are looking are often trying to have it all, just not all at the same time. So we begin with career then think about leaving it to start families hoping we can return to work once our kids are either in school or grown and ready to leave the house.
What I always wanted to know is what happens if you can't meet the timeline? Do you settle for Mr. Almost Right if you approach 24 without meeting "THE ONE"? Or do you rush the work and family so we meet the invisible deadline? Do we reach some point and then God, karma (or whatever higher power you believe in) decides that you didn't meet the deadline therefore you cannot have it all? You just were too late so you don't get to have your dreams? Or anyone else's?
How do you even know that ALL is what you want? There's never a time in school when they pull you aside and say - do you want to be married, have kids and work a full time career all while not having a spare second to think. No one prepares you for the exhaustion, tension and shear feelings of inadequacy that accompany trying to do everything all the time.
So I circle back to my question above. Is having it all even worth it?
Some of us have been so indoctrinated with this ideal that we have taken things a step further and expected to have it all by age 30. Doing the math -- we plan to meet Mr. Right sometime during high school or college then get engaged at 22 or 23, married within a few years so we can both work, getting started on our careers for two to four years then start having kids by 28 or 29. Sounds perfect right? Have the female version of the American dream all before the age of 30.
Of course, no one tells you that if you get it all before 30, you'll be exhausted by 32.
The backlash of the movement to have it all has created a battle between women who are still striving and women who are searching for an alternative. The alternative hasn't been decided for many women but those who are looking are often trying to have it all, just not all at the same time. So we begin with career then think about leaving it to start families hoping we can return to work once our kids are either in school or grown and ready to leave the house.
What I always wanted to know is what happens if you can't meet the timeline? Do you settle for Mr. Almost Right if you approach 24 without meeting "THE ONE"? Or do you rush the work and family so we meet the invisible deadline? Do we reach some point and then God, karma (or whatever higher power you believe in) decides that you didn't meet the deadline therefore you cannot have it all? You just were too late so you don't get to have your dreams? Or anyone else's?
How do you even know that ALL is what you want? There's never a time in school when they pull you aside and say - do you want to be married, have kids and work a full time career all while not having a spare second to think. No one prepares you for the exhaustion, tension and shear feelings of inadequacy that accompany trying to do everything all the time.
So I circle back to my question above. Is having it all even worth it?
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Good news on the book front
Good news girls! I have received half of the signed permission forms back from the participants in my book project
30 Isn't Old.
This means that the book is one step closer to print. I'm shooting for an on sale date before the end of the year but may be cutting it close. I'll update more as I get closer.
This means that the book is one step closer to print. I'm shooting for an on sale date before the end of the year but may be cutting it close. I'll update more as I get closer.
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Too tired to think
I'm exhausted tonight so this will be a short entry. I just feel bad that I've been neglectful this month. Plus I haven't felt the usual positive energy toward this blog that I normally do. So to compromise I decided to share two quotes that get me going whenever I read them.
Instead all I can think is that I'm glad to live in a more enlightened (I hope) time. Maybe he should have considered that the women he knew who were over 30 may have been unhappy because they had to deal with the likes of him.
For those who don't know (and I admit that before I read this quote, I wasn't sure) Clemenceau is a statesman, a former Prime Minister of France who was involved in the Treaty of Versailles, the peace treaty that helped end World War I. Anyway even though Clemenceau is a man and therefore not the best voice for turning 30, I tend to concur with his statement.
OK, maybe not everything I learned was after 30. But a great deal of perspective continues to come my way the more years I collect. So hopefully old George is correct and I have a future as a wise old woman coming my way.
The faces of most American women over thirty are relief maps of petulant and bewildered unhappiness. -F. Scott Fitzgerald
After reading The Great Gatsby in high school I was well aware of Fitzgerald's obnixious and irritating view of women. When I came across this quote I wasn't the least surprised that the words came from his mouth.
Everything I know I learned after I was thirty.
- Georges Clemenceau
For those who don't know (and I admit that before I read this quote, I wasn't sure) Clemenceau is a statesman, a former Prime Minister of France who was involved in the Treaty of Versailles, the peace treaty that helped end World War I. Anyway even though Clemenceau is a man and therefore not the best voice for turning 30, I tend to concur with his statement.
OK, maybe not everything I learned was after 30. But a great deal of perspective continues to come my way the more years I collect. So hopefully old George is correct and I have a future as a wise old woman coming my way.
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Women's Health Blog
I don't recall if I've mentioned it before but Women's Health magazine has a blog running right now by one of their editors who is writing about the year leading up to her 30th birthday. Since it is Women's Health the blog often centers on exercise or working toward the goal of running a marathon. This seems like typical stuff but I checked in with the blog today and two things caught my eye (then PISSED ME OFF!).
Use this link to check it out for yourself. http://www.womenshealthmag.com/blog/jwaldbieser
The About This Blog section follows:
"I'm Jill, a senior editor at WH. I turn 30 in one short year, and already I feel myself growing older, weaker, and more boring by the second. Since I can’t reclaim my youth, I’m going to squeeze every last moment of fun out of my 365 remaining days as a twenty-something. Help me decide how I should make every day count."
Did you read that? Let me repeat something:
"I turn 30 in one short year, and already I feel myself growing older, weaker, and more boring by the second."
Only the immature and naive actually believe that 20 somethings are capable of being more interesting than their older peers. Women who reach 30, especially those who do so with a positive attitude, have life experience and opinions that make them interesting (not boring). And why would anyone look to this Jill for her opinion after reading her intro? Has she never met the other people who work at her magazine (or in the rest of the world) who have surpassed 30 to remain vibrant, strong and fascinating? How dull her life must have been.
I looked at previous posts and came across another entry that irritated me. In April she bemoans the clothes she is about to have to give up due to her "aging". These are the sexy, fun, flirty dresses and even high heels that apparently we should turn in once we hit the big 3-0. She also mentions having to give up shorts (long before 30 actually). Read some of her entry:
"I still remember a few years ago, when shorts suddenly became off-limits to me. A vague unease about slipping them on had been sneaking up on me for a while, and my collection had shrunk down to two pair. Then one day a friend (a younger friend) mentioned how she'd stopped wearing them because she just felt ridiculous in shorts outside the gym. I thought about it and realized she was right--how many grown women do you see in shorts who aren't competing in a team sport? I retired mine the same day."
Jill is obviously living in a climate that rarely if ever sees 90 degree temperatures or she needs to work on some lunges to tone those thighs. I mean come on, give up shorts? Really? In our 20s or 30s when we likely have the best legs we will in our lives?
I don't think so.
Finding this blog was just another reminder to me about why I keep this blog. If that negativity and ignorance about turning 30 is what abounds in the world then I would like to be the positive voice who LOUDLY disagrees.
Use this link to check it out for yourself. http://www.womenshealthmag.com/blog/jwaldbieser
FIRST
The About This Blog section follows:
"I'm Jill, a senior editor at WH. I turn 30 in one short year, and already I feel myself growing older, weaker, and more boring by the second. Since I can’t reclaim my youth, I’m going to squeeze every last moment of fun out of my 365 remaining days as a twenty-something. Help me decide how I should make every day count."
Did you read that? Let me repeat something:
"I turn 30 in one short year, and already I feel myself growing older, weaker, and more boring by the second."
I do believe I want to smack Jill right about now.
How about you?
Only the immature and naive actually believe that 20 somethings are capable of being more interesting than their older peers. Women who reach 30, especially those who do so with a positive attitude, have life experience and opinions that make them interesting (not boring). And why would anyone look to this Jill for her opinion after reading her intro? Has she never met the other people who work at her magazine (or in the rest of the world) who have surpassed 30 to remain vibrant, strong and fascinating? How dull her life must have been.
SECOND
I looked at previous posts and came across another entry that irritated me. In April she bemoans the clothes she is about to have to give up due to her "aging". These are the sexy, fun, flirty dresses and even high heels that apparently we should turn in once we hit the big 3-0. She also mentions having to give up shorts (long before 30 actually). Read some of her entry:
"I still remember a few years ago, when shorts suddenly became off-limits to me. A vague unease about slipping them on had been sneaking up on me for a while, and my collection had shrunk down to two pair. Then one day a friend (a younger friend) mentioned how she'd stopped wearing them because she just felt ridiculous in shorts outside the gym. I thought about it and realized she was right--how many grown women do you see in shorts who aren't competing in a team sport? I retired mine the same day."
Jill is obviously living in a climate that rarely if ever sees 90 degree temperatures or she needs to work on some lunges to tone those thighs. I mean come on, give up shorts? Really? In our 20s or 30s when we likely have the best legs we will in our lives?
I don't think so.
Finding this blog was just another reminder to me about why I keep this blog. If that negativity and ignorance about turning 30 is what abounds in the world then I would like to be the positive voice who LOUDLY disagrees.
Turning 30 can be fun, positive, energizing and memorable (or it can be just another day in an already interesting life).
You choose.
Just make it a good one.
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