BLOG ON HIATUS FOR NOVEMBER

I know I've been absent a lot lately but with moving, working and trying to keep my head above water as the economy plummets, I've been a little busy. And now I'm writing to let you know that I will be absent for the month of November.

November is National Novel Writing Month.

I've decided to accept the challenge of NaNoWriMo of writing 50,000 words or a full novel during the month of November.

In order to achieve this goal I will be cutting back on all other writing as much as possible. I've set myself a 1000 word goal for each week day with a larger goal for the weekends, 5000 words each day for three weekends. I'm taking the other weekend off writing in order to move.



In order to make the goal, I will put this blog on hold. But don't worry.

I'll be back December 1st and motivated again.

Holidays, Schmolidays

Let me start by saying that as much as I love birthdays, I do not love holidays. The forced nature of holidays combined with the obligations that are involved tend to irritate me instead of inspire me.

I love giving gifts but already (in October) the thought of Christmas shopping is giving me the hives. AND TODAY my not-into-holidays boss decided to have a total change of personality so we are having a Halloween party at the office.

While it isn't strictly required that we "participate" by dressing up in costume on Friday, it would be "appreciated" if we played along. Did I mention how much I hate being forced into holidays? Just to be clear, I've never been a big fan. This isn't something that just hit me one day and I decided I've grown out of the Halloween experience. I think I only when trick-or-treating twice in my life. And I didn't enjoy it either time.

So how about you?
Now that you're an adult do you participate in holiday shenanigans?
Do you do it for your kids?
Or do you do it because someone else expects it?

OR are you one of those people who genuinely love holidays?

Don't get me wrong, I think it's great that there are people out there who like holidays. They get into it and seem to have a ton of fun. Because after all, they are doing something they enjoy. It's just those of us who don't find dressing up "FUN" that don't enjoy the experience.

So again I guess I'm repeating the question -

Now that you're 30 (or about to be) do you still enjoy holidays the way you did as a child?

Sorry for not writing

Sorry but I'm in bed with a cold.

I promise I'll get back in the swing of the blog next week.

No excuses for not celebrating

I was reading an email about fitness today. I'm on a mailing list for Turbulence Training and the daily emails are motivating and energizing most of the time. I admit I've fallen behind on the working out and I have a list of excuses as long as my arm but even then I can't seem to get myself moving.

So today's motivational email was about excuses and it sparked my thinking about birthdays. Combine that email with a conversation with a male coworker who explained that he buys jewelry for his wife on major anniversaries and "big" birthdays and here I am thinking about celebrating birthdays.

I am a big fan of celebrating every birthday, not just the "big" ones, the so-called milestones or the decade birthdays. Instead I figure every birthday is a gift. As my great-grandmother likes to say "It's better than the alternative."

But birthdays are more than just a step ahead of being dead and buried. Birthdays are the day we get to celebrate life - our own, our family's and life in general. Hopefully you say thank you to your parents whenever your birthday comes around. While your at it, direct some of that thanks to your grandparents as well.

Then stop making excuses and find a way to celebrate.

I won't suggest you go out to a club or throw a raucous bash just do something to celebrate. Head to the spa for a massage, catch a movie or curl up with your favorite tearjerker and a huge tub of popcorn. Just do something to celebrate your day and how awesome it feels to be alive. No one on earth can be you so don't you owe it to yourself to celebrate the wonder of who you are? Your birthday is the perfect time to do just that.

So get started. Give up the excuses and go out a celebrate your birthday.

AND on a side note, it happens to be my dad's birthday today so:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAD!!!

Better, Best, Worst?

I've had trouble writing this blog lately because I've been busy and I felt like I was running out of things to say with all the time I've spent on the book. I can't tell if I'm being redundant or not.

So I began to ask myself what I've learned from this process and I came up with a few things I'm calling

The Better, Best & Worst things about being over 30

Better

More respect in the workplace

Best

Knowing I am capable of going my own way and being happy

Worst

Staying up late and partying is painful the next morning

So there you have it, my better, best and worst of being over 30.

What's on your list?

Really, I'd like to hear from you so drop me an email or comment and I'll start making a list!

Over 30 Price Tag

Recently like many people I've been working to get my finances and debt under control. I figure if I head out full steam I might be able to get rid of debt in 3 - 4 years. Considering the cost of things and the state of the economy, this basically sucks. But since the majority of my debt is for two college degrees I mostly haven't been too bothered by carrying it around with me. I've always figured that debt was the consequence, the price I paid willingly, for going to graduate school.

That is, until recently.

Now that I've left my 20s I no longer spend money like water running through my hands. I won't say I never spend, I do, just not as frivolously. Still, more than a third of my income is spent paying towards things I bought in the past. With the tough economic times I've learned that paying this price tag for debt is a lot more cumbersome in my 30s than it was in my 20s. I make a better income now but things cost more, my living standards are higher and I save more for retirement so no matter how much I make, there is less to go around.

How is it I wonder that I survived on $15k a year while going to college the first time? I still had rent, food, utilities, books, clothes, a car - everything I have now - just a lot smaller and cheaper.

So is it that my tastes have changed?
Am I unwilling to do with what I had before?
Have I collected too much baggage (furniture, books, relationships, whatever)?

Or does being over 30 just mean that life and the consequences of our choices have a higher price tag?

Say goodbye to peer pressure

I was trolling some message boards and forums today looking for something new to write about for this blog. I've been a little unmotivated in the positive attitude lately and I believe I'm coming down with something.

I decided looking for new ideas was a good way to put by sore throat out of my mind. I came across an old message where someone was asking what was so great about being 30 and one of the respondents had a great answer. They said

The great thing about turning 30 is that you now feel perfectly justified in doing whatever you want, regardless of peer pressure.

"It's late, I'm going home. Know why? BECAUSE I'M 30 AND I CAN!"

It sounds silly, but I think it's been a good way of thinking about it. I just care less what my friends (or others) think, and more about what I actually want and how I want to achieve that.

How awesome is that?? Turning 30 means I will be able to give up the dependence upon my friends' opinions that drove me through my 20s. Better yet, peer pressure will be a thing of the past and I can finally live my own life, my own way!!

What a great day! AND a GREAT AGE! Suddenly I want to turn 30 all over again just to have that spark of new found independence to look forward to again.

Here's the link if you want to check out some of the other answers.
http://ask.metafilter.com/47818/Happy-Birthday-to-me

Buy Into Some Hype

If you buy into the hype surrounding turning 30 you may accept the idea that this is an age when you find yourself.

My personal belief is that finding ourselves is an ongoing, lifelong process that has nothing to do with age. However, I also realize that not everyone is as focused on self awareness as I am. For me it's an innate quality I have always had but it has been enhanced by a happily single lifestyle and fierce independence.

So if you are not like me (and most people are not) then you may be new to the idea of finding yourself. Many assume this stops at the end of our teenage or college years. So 30 seems like it should be an age when you have already accepted who and what you are. This is one of those times when I suggest you buy into the hype. Don't believe that you should have life already figured out.

Instead consider going with the societal expectations in just this one area and I suggest that you use this time to figure out what you want out of life. Even if you think you know, you've always wanted to be a lawyer, doctor or ballerina. Maybe you've always wanted to be a psychiatrist but now that you've started work you aren't sure if you like the work or can continue for another 20 years. There is always time to reevaluate.

Repeat after me - It is never too late. There is always time to reassess and reevaluate your life, your goals and your motivation.

You have the time so use it.

Get to know you.

Dave Ramsey Podcast

I was listening to a Dave Ramsey podcast this afternoon while at work. For those who don't know, Dave is a financial authority and author of two leading books about personal finance
Total Money Makeover


& Financial Peace





These books instruct readers on Dave's basic philosophy and plan for dealing with money. Dave is the no-nonsense type who lays it out plainly for anyone to see.

• Spend less than you make
• Get out of debt
• Pay cash
• Work hard
• Save. Save. Save
  

I happened to listen to Dave's show podcast after reading an article this morning about how average people will have a difficult time getting credit.

Getting control over our finances is an intimidating goal, especially in today's financial era. If you are anything like me, you approached turning 30 with a pile of debt. Maybe it was student loans, credit cards or a mortgage and car payments. Debt of any kind can make you feel overwhelmed. The stress of financial instability and uncertainty makes us doubt our choices and our abilities.

Something else Dave Ramsey said caused a little distress for me. He was counseling a man who was 24 and worried that he wasn't doing enough to support his wife because he only made $20k a year. The couple had no debt and was living within their means while his wife was going to school to be a teacher. What Dave suggested was that once the wife finished school and was working that her husband would be able to consider what he could do to improve his education and later his income. The upsetting statement from Dave was that the man should have a goal of tripling his income by the time he was 29. In fact, Dave suggested, everyone should have a similar goal.

I was disheartened by his assertion. I make a good living and never have I been able to triple my income in five years. Moreover, I have advanced my career over time and gotten regular promotions yet I have never reached that degree of success. I have pursued graduate level education, advanced my professional skill and certifications and worked multiple jobs to advance my second career as well. SO if I've worked this hard and faced these challenges, and I cannot triple my income, can anybody? Is Dave Ramsey just setting another unrealistic goal that none of us will achieve?

What about your goals? Your personal or financial goals? Are any of those unreasonable? What can you do to make them more reasonable?

Is there any way to keep yourself from feeling unsuccessful when in front of you is unreasonable goals and ideals?

Forgot to add the image earlier

Sorry, I talked about my new purse in an earlier blog then forgot to upload it.

HERE IT IS!

I hope you like it as much as I do. All that red, plus it goes with everything.

Reward yourself

Looking at the economy this might not be the best time to have this conversation but I think we need to think about what we can do to stay positive right now, whether it is positive about our age, our income or whatever may be bringing us down. To that end I’d like to suggest a little retail therapy.

Usually I am not a big fan of the shop ‘til your hurts go away mentality since that tends to lead to debt which increases fear and you end up with one big, ugly cycle of discomfort and craziness. However, retail therapy is good for the economy and I’m not suggesting that you go overboard. As a matter of fact I’m ordering you not to use credit for this little reward.

A few weeks ago after a stressful week and craving a special gift for myself I went out and bought this Coach purse. I didn’t go overboard and buy the large Hobo style bag or the newest item. I went to the outlet store and purchased a bag (WITH CASH) that I fell in love with a few weeks earlier. The bag was on sale.

Sale doesn’t always mean that the purchase is a good one and I usually recommend in times of financial stress that you spend as little as possible. BUT I was in need of a reward, something to make the sacrifices (and months of working 2 jobs) worthwhile so that I would be motivated to continue. I also, that same day, arranged a new lease for next year that would save me more than $200 a month in rent from this past year, and worked out to be $400 less than the increase my present complex was demanding. So in all, spending $70 that I DID HAVE IN CASH seemed worth the effort and energy I had expended.

Why am I telling you about my purse? Because I am a responsible gal, I work hard and try not to be frivolous. So when I tell you that sometimes you need to reward yourself, I mean it.
I’m not suggesting you spend what you don’t have or spend a lot. Right now many of us are making sacrifices, working more, spending less, whatever it takes to get by. If you are one of these women then consider rewarding yourself a little. Once a month or every other month (whatever your budget can spare) take yourself to breakfast and spend $5 at the bakery, or if you recently cut out your daily Starbucks habit, then treat yourself to your favorite coffee on a Saturday morning. Buy a book or purchase a favorite album on iTunes. If there is absolutely no available cash, the reward yourself with a walk in the park alone or with a friend or even a bubble bath on a Sunday evening.

Just do something that reminds you that your hard work is worth it and there will be better times ahead.

Managing Stress and Investing

Stress is big in our culture. It defines and often consumes us. Looking at the news today and finding that the Dow dropped 800 points and the economy is continuing to crash around us, how can we not be stressed.

At lunch today two different people commented about how they would not be able to retire within three years as they had originally planned. They took a large enough financial hit that they won't be able to recover in time to meet their retirement goal.

THIS SUCKS! Royally, for them!

I do have empathy, please don't misunderstand. But at the same time I am grateful that even though I have taken some hits with my investments, I will have time to recover. I started my 401k at 22 and have a fair amount of money saved even though I took most of it out when I changed jobs 3 years ago. Still I know that while the losses suck, I can get it back. When the economy recovers, I can survive this downturn and be able to recover again.

So turning 30 may be the first time you started thinking about the economy or your financial future. If not, great for you. If you've gotten a head start then you are even better positioned than many of your peers. If you haven't started preparing for the future, I hope that when this crisis passes, you will do so.

Still if you're having a rough day and need something positive to consider about turning 30 - remember that you have time. You have lots of time to invest in your future and recover losses. Our age, our youth, provides this time. Make good use of it!!

Computer Crappy Day

I have had the crappiest day. I now have a headache and a knot in my stomach and I can't tell you why. Monday tends to be a bad day with the whole recover from the weekend and get up early deal. But today was a spectacularly bad Monday because every plan I had failed, every goal was unmet and I spent my day consumed with other people's problems while I ignored my own schedule and deadlines.

Just so we are clear - I am totally aware that this is my own fault.

The problem is that I don't mind helping people and I usually am laid back enough that missing a deadline doesn't really bother me. I normally figure that I will just make up the time tomorrow. BUT TODAY, my problems were all computer related and

COMPUTERS MAKE ME CRAZY

ABSOLUTELY INSANE

They are completely illogical and unreliable. I am one of those individuals who isn't good with machines. I'm handy with tools as long as they don't perform high level functions. So I can use a drill and my iPod (sometimes) but computers, copy machines and complex tools like drill presses, circular saws and others are a little too high risk for me.

Computers especially tend to react badly to my instructions. While I just want to throw the stupid things out the window half the time.

So today I spent more than 4 hours trying to load (then unload and reload) a software upgrade. I should tell you that I have loaded this particular upgrade four times in the last week. So I've got the process down and shouldn't have had a problem. Still the irrational nature of computers meant that I tried to upload the program and it didn't take, then I tried again, no joy. I am, however, persistent so I tried a third time and YIPPEE! it worked and the program was loaded. It even worked, the first time.

I got the machine working just in time for the next one to be dropped on my desk for the same problem. The upgrade loaded but wouldn't function so it had to be uninstalled and then reinstalled.

Like I said, computers make me crazy. They are just counter to my logic. The stress of having to deal with the inconsistency and irrational nature of 2 stupid machines made me just want to SCREAM!

Right now I have absolutely nothing positive to say EXCEPT I'm looking forward to tomorrow. It will be a better day!

Is Having it All Even Worth It?

Growing up many of us heard from our mothers and grandmothers how the world was a much better place to be for a woman that it was even decades before. Our mothers were some of the first to be able to HAVE IT ALL - with their families and dream jobs. Our generation is still being promised that we can have everything we want. We may have to learn to balance, patience and how to live with exhaustion - but hey, we can have it all.

Some of us have been so indoctrinated with this ideal that we have taken things a step further and expected to have it all by age 30. Doing the math -- we plan to meet Mr. Right sometime during high school or college then get engaged at 22 or 23, married within a few years so we can both work, getting started on our careers for two to four years then start having kids by 28 or 29. Sounds perfect right? Have the female version of the American dream all before the age of 30.

Of course, no one tells you that if you get it all before 30, you'll be exhausted by 32.

The backlash of the movement to have it all has created a battle between women who are still striving and women who are searching for an alternative. The alternative hasn't been decided for many women but those who are looking are often trying to have it all, just not all at the same time. So we begin with career then think about leaving it to start families hoping we can return to work once our kids are either in school or grown and ready to leave the house.

What I always wanted to know is what happens if you can't meet the timeline? Do you settle for Mr. Almost Right if you approach 24 without meeting "THE ONE"? Or do you rush the work and family so we meet the invisible deadline? Do we reach some point and then God, karma (or whatever higher power you believe in) decides that you didn't meet the deadline therefore you cannot have it all? You just were too late so you don't get to have your dreams? Or anyone else's?

How do you even know that ALL is what you want? There's never a time in school when they pull you aside and say - do you want to be married, have kids and work a full time career all while not having a spare second to think. No one prepares you for the exhaustion, tension and shear feelings of inadequacy that accompany trying to do everything all the time.

So I circle back to my question above. Is having it all even worth it?

Good news on the book front

Good news girls! I have received half of the signed permission forms back from the participants in my book project

30 Isn't Old.

This means that the book is one step closer to print. I'm shooting for an on sale date before the end of the year but may be cutting it close. I'll update more as I get closer.